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July 28, 2005

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It was such a brilliant idea; I couldn't believe no one thought of it before. Brilliant! I had just created the Spousal Performance Appraisal. A thing of beauty, complete with a five point scale from "never meets expectations" to "always exceeds expectations."

It covered menial stuff like dirty dishes, taking out garbage, a section on finances, timeliness of bill paying, even a scurrilous section on bedroom behavior. There were specific questions about noxious odors, remembering birthdays and anniversaries.

I took this brilliant idea to my testing ground. "Honey," I said. "You know we have been married for a few years now, and I thought it would be a great idea to do a performance appraisal on you. In fact, I have created this form for you to fill out on yourself and then I thought we would talk about your ratings versus my ratings. This will surely reveal several areas where you could do better. We can finish by writing up this page called the Spousal Improvement Plan. Three months from now, we can sit down and see how you are doing."

I was somewhat surprised at her response. -TF

Tom:

I can only imagine her response! That is funny, but it certainly hilights why performance appraisals should be scrapped. When we have a relationship with someone, we don't treat them like a thing or patronize them with ratings.

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