10 Lessons X Three + Three

Strolling through the archives, I found that I had created three separate Top 10 lists for lessons I have learned.
13 Lessons from my Dad
10 Management Lessons from my Cats
10 Management Lessons from my Dogs

Here they are in their entirety. Who's advice is best?

How to Live - Lessons from Dad

Introduction

My father, Lee Devine, is celebrating his 75th birthday this week. My parents (divorced, both remarried) are two very different people and I have traits of both. I feel lucky to have been raised by such individual people because I am richer for having these diverse influences.

To commemorate my dad’s birthday, I‘ve described the lessons about life that I received from him. I would have an equally long list of lessons learned from my mom, but this list focuses on my dad.

I think these lessons can benefit many people and apply to home and work life.

Presented in no particular order; they are

Lesson #1 - Play All the Time!

Dad is a fun-loving goofball. I am, too, when I let myself. He loves sports, crafts, tinkering in the garage, making music and playing games. And he’s game for just about anything – I love that! Even after a tough day at work (physical work) he was available and eager to do something.  He even made cutting the lawn fun by getting a speedy riding mower that had a zero turning radius. We would zip around that thing like it was a dune buggy. One day, the lawn was a bit wet and dad drove the mower right into the canal! How funny it was seeing him going in and hearing him yell as the mower hit the water. It never ran the same after that.

Lesson #2 - Use Your Head!

Although he never went to college and finished high school via a GED, my dad is a creative and ingenious man. He’s always been a MacGyver kind of guy who can make anything out of anything. My school science projects were always inventive and original because of my father’s ideas. He built our pool in the shape of Africa. He created beautiful stained glass doors and windows, and made our yard an interesting work of art (Complete with peeing boy statues, pyramid lights, and cannons!).

Lesson #3 - Speed Rules!

I inherited my lead foot from my dad. Speed is exciting, fun, and adventurous. A mundane trip to the drugstore could become an adventure in his homemade hotrod car (with no doors). Cape Coral, Florida was less populated then and we could whiz down the streets unobstructed. I loved his motorcycle rides and now ride one of my own. Our boats sped through the water (often full throttle onto sandbars!). Our lawn mower was fast. Cars were fast. Everything was fast.  “Let’s get on with it!”

Lesson #4 - Do Something!

Why sit around and mope? We could be doing something fun. I was fortunate that neither of my parents used the television as a babysitter. I was encouraged to be active and engaged, and my dad loved to participate. We would putt around the shop, feed our Oscars (big fish in the cichlid family), play tennis, and discuss our theories about life and science (which could run the gamut). We would try to grow tomatoes and pick them right as they got ripe and eat them whole while chatting on the dock bench (much to my mother’s disappointment because she never got to use any of the tomatoes for dinner). This desire to do something often resulted in odd projects. We created a coop and got a rooster and hen. The rooster did not know when to stop crowing and the hen got out and was eaten by one of the resident alligators, so that ended up not working out so well. We would go to the undeveloped areas north of town and catch wild guppies to feed our big Oscars. Unfortunately, the wild guppies ended up eating the fancy guppies we bought at the pet store. Other projects were more fruitful.

Lesson #5 - Rules S’mules!

How thankful I am not to be ruled by rules! As long as we aren’t hurting anyone or anything, rules can be stretched and redefined (and sometimes should be). Take golf, for example. When my Dad and I play golf, we break every rule and have a blast! No crime has been committed, no one is harmed, and the water holes get half our balls. My dad has always had the attitude that a wee fib, or stretching of the truth, may be the best way to go in certain circumstances. I think of his philosophy as a way to not get hung up on stuff that doesn’t matter. So smart.

Lesson #6 - Who Knows?

Dad has always been open to new ideas and theories about things. He is willing to think many things are possible. We don’t know what we cannot comprehend. I think this is a very positive outlook and one that I am glad to inherit. Pyramid power? Sure. Life on other planets? Maybe! Alternative versions of how life evolved? Why not? My favorite of dad’s theories involves linking all three of these areas. He has this idea that Adam and Eve came from another planet to populate the earth and the pyramids were used as transmitters to the mother planet/ship. Sounds funny, but it is really any more of a stretch than other prevailing notions?

Lesson #7 - Fix it Yourself!

My dad was a firm believer in trying to fix or modify things before calling in the experts. This sometimes backfired on him. Like the time he set the house on fire (and he was a volunteer fireman – how embarrassing). Or the time he set the boat on fire and the time the car engine blew up. Perhaps this lesson should not be universally applied, but aside from a few mishaps, dad was able to make most things better. His ingenuity allowed my family to live a richer life. We had a great house, fun (fast) toys, and a new trombone/bugle/dog/bike/tennis racket.

Lesson #8 - Make it Personal!

My dad has always made very personal and wonderful gifts for people. Each gift has been an expression of his creativity and thoughtfulness. Looking back, there were several personal gifts I did not appreciate enough. I regret this now. Luckily, I have moved past the yuppie materialistic 80’s and 90’s and now love giving and getting homemade gifts. Handmade gifts are an expression of love and are heirloom items.

Lesson #9 - Be Colorful!

Life is worth living OUT LOUD. My dad has always had flair. He is not too shy to wear bright green pants and a pink shirt to play golf (or just hang around) and his sense of craft and décor has always been punctuated with boldness. Some of his ways of beingcolorful may seem a bit garish, but he is never boring. Take his Jacuzzi spa. Around the spa he has several Greek styled statues poring water into the spa. There are plants everywhere, and cool romantic lightening. Orchids, bubbles, and piped in music make for a sensory explosion.

Lesson #10 - It Never Hurts to Ask!

People who are hesitant to ask for what they want are often this way because they are hung up on getting a positive response. The irony is that if you don’t self-destruct when told, “no,” you will get more yesses. I learned the value of making requests early on. Most people want to accommodate us, and many are happy to help! I also learned that I was a pretty good salesperson. Boats, dogs, hamsters, chickens, turtles, fish, birds, bikes, instruments, tennis lessons, camp, drum and bugle, and debate club trips.  He enjoyed seeing me excited about something new and didn’t get too frustrated when the new thing eventually fell out of favor – it’s all about experimentation. 

Lesson #11 – Our Home is Our Castle!

Dad has always poured a lot of energy into his home. This is one area where my parents have the same value but execute it very differently. Dad fills his home with personal finds and homemade touches. My mother creates a lovely, uncluttered, and serene oasis. You might find my dad’s house a bit kitschy, but it is clearly his castle and is filled will all his toys and tools. He has a chair that vibrates, has speakers in the wings, and a pyramid light overhead. It’s his throne. What I’ve learned seeing these two different styles is that wherever we live, it must be personal and comfortable.

Lesson #12 - Small Things are Big!

Small gestures mean so much and my dad has reinforced this through the years. Sometimes the silliest things can be special. For example, whenever I visit, my dad looks forward to a fancy frozen drink made by bartender Lisa. I have never been a bartender, but he loves the concoctions I come up with and knows I create them just for him. It is fun to see his delight for the small things.

Lesson #13 – No guts, no glory!

Dad has always been an adventurous guy and he’s not afraid of taking a risk or two. If he had the money and health, he would be first in line to cruise into space. He does not hesitate to climb a roof, try a new path, scuba dive, or pick up a snake (or snapping turtle and bring it home to me for a pet!).  I learned an amount of fearlessness from him that I cherish.

Conclusion

These lessons share a few common themes.

Live, enjoy, connect, and experiment.

Thanks, Dad, for teaching me how to live more adventurously and fully. Because of you, I am more successful and happy.

====================================================

10 Management Lessons I Have Learned From my Dogs

Great coaching can come from a variety of sources, even our pets! When we are being coachable, we can better see and benefit from our environment. Here are a few pearls of wisdom I picked up from my pooches.

1. If it is not about food, love, fun, or comfort, why stress over it!
Dogs are clear about their priorities and so should we - and the simpler the better!

2. We need to walk!
My dogs put their paws down and demand a walk. It's like they are saying, "Hey, it's not raining (ergo not winter in Seattle) so we should be outside. Sometimes at work I forget to get out and move a bit during the day and my brain cells regret it. Everyone should take a walk - every day!

3. A good life is when we have enough plush seating for everyone.
All creatures deserve to feel comfortable where they live and work. As a manager, we need to make sure that our work environments are inviting and pleasant.

4. Share and share alike.
Dogs know when one has gotten more treats or attention than the other and they let you know of their disapproval. At work, we need to make sure that we pay attention of all our team members and colleagues, not the just ones of like mind or with similar personalities. People can tell and feel when they are not our favorites. Dogs howl and moan, but often people will just keep their disappointment inside.

5. It only needs to be a little special to feel REAL special.
It's the little extras, from the heart, that makes the greatest difference.

6. When I'm excited and engaged I pull!
As managers, we want to inspire our team members and peers such that they are jazzed about work. Pull leadership is much more powerful than push leadership.

7. I trust you.
I once had a blind husky who trusted me to walk him anywhere. Sundance would run forward with all his energy and he knew I would never steer him into harms way (which was nearly always true). When we earn trust, people willingly follow us, even if the new landscape is unfamiliar.

8. When I eat too late, I gotta go in the middle of the night.
Success and peace is often about planning and timing. A good plan will lead to greater peace and sleep!

9. I'm more likely to tolerate cats that I have been with for some time.
Bringing together diverse points of view is best done through spending real and meaningful time together. It takes some time, but mutual respect and perhaps even friendship is possible.

10. Tomorrow, all is forgotten.
Each day has the potential for being great. No grudges, no judgments. Each new morning is another day to go for a walk, bond with humans, and score treats. Life is good.

Here's my pack:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

====================================================

10 Management Lessons I Have Learned From my Cats

OK - my cats are ticked off and feeling left out because I wrote about the dogs last week. The last thing I need are two angry cats rummaging around my electrical equipment. Here now, are 10 management lessons I have learned from my cats, Tiger and Paris.

1. Whatever you think I'm thinking, you're wrong!
Have you ever tried to figure out what's going on in a cat's mind? Faagetaboutit! Same goes for people at work. The less time spent worrying and speculating the better because we will often be wrong.

2. You are most interesting when you are not trying to be interesting.
My cats are most interested in being with me when I am on a roll and writing under a wicked deadline. I guess I am most fun to be with when I am engaged and thinking. Same with humans! BTW neither is giving me the time of day right now.

3. Don't you dare say you have a treat unless you do!
Cats don't fall for the bait and switch as easily as dogs do. Employees have the same keen awareness and expect that if you tell them there will be rewards, there damn well better be rewards.

4. When it's warm, I purr.
My cats, particularly Tiger, love to lie in the sun, under a lamp, or in my lap. We all like to be in an environment that is warm and comfortable.

5. Cross me and you will regret it!
Aahh, the assault of the neglected. When my Tiger is really unhappy with me, he will pee on the floor - right in front of my eyes! He actually waits until I am looking at him.  Employees and peers may not pee in the corner of your office, but they have their own way of letting you and others know of their disapproval. The best strategy is not to provide the fuel for the fury.

6. Trust is earned.
Paris, in particular, is slow to warm up to pet sitters and guests. You have to earn your way into her heart. Cats seem to realize that it is effort to give attention and love. Managers need to earn their employee's, peers' and manager's trust too.

7. A clean place is an efficient home.
Cats are cleaner and more "consistent" when their litter is cleaned daily. At work, we are more effective when organized and not bogged down by clutter. Perhaps cats understand Feng Shui!

8. Catnip - yum!
We all need to indulge a little. Be it a fancy coffee in the afternoon or the leisurely Friday lunch. The workplace should not be so rigid as to keep people from feeding their mind, soul and heart.

9. Don't insult my intelligence.
Ever notice how you can fool a cat once, but not twice? And don't even try to feed dog treats to a cat - ppuugh! Cats take pride in making their own decisions and choices. This is true at work too. A work environment that respects our love of choice will be more fulfilling. Like with cats, you will get more of what you want when you do not try to force your wishes on others.

10. Let me help you feel better.
My cats are very intuitive and know when I am upset, sad, or depressed. They shower me with attention and make me feel better. Managers who are open and genuine will enjoy the same care and concern from coworkers. And allowing others to support us feels good!

Comments

[BarfieldMV]

Live, enjoy, connect, and experiment.

These lessons are the most important in the world. They are just as important as:

Be yourself
Dont worry, be happy
Live your (own) life
Being alone is boring

My girlfriend is currently having a depression and it is always sad to see that she is doing exaclty the opposite of these 'rules'.

[מכשירי שמיעה]

I think of my father's his philosophy as a way of not getting stuck in things that matter.