He's not trying to annoy you, that is just the way he breathes.

Think about styles and preferences a bit differently and you will enjoy working with people a whole lot more. It is so easy to get perturbed with people. It is easy to assume that people are trying to frustrate us, make things difficult for us. It is a piece of cake to render a judgment about another person's motives and intent.

The kicker is that while it is easy to respond to people in these ways, we are often wrong. And it is a cop out.

I used to let styles really get to me. And I am not perfectly cured of it. But I am better ad happier and more successful because I truly believe that how we are - not who we are, HOW we are - is something that is so comfortable that it is like how we breathe.

So instead of taking on an assumption that has a high likelihood of being wrong, repeat after me: " she's not trying to annoy me, that is just the way she breathes."

I am not suggesting that we all don't need to learn how to be better partners and I am not excusing bad behavior. My suggestion is to be more choosy about what we classify and the assumptions we have about how people act and communicate.

Most people are smart, hard-working, and well meaning - even if they are frustrating to work with at times. BTW - you are likely smart, hard-working and well meaning AND frustrating to work with at times.

It's just the way you breathe.

Comments

[Jessica]

If you assume that someone is creating problems and difficulties for you, others may think same about you, so if all of us just start thinking that he/she is not willingly trying to bother you then the whole environment could be changed.

[Mariam]

Thanks for your great article!
You´re damn right.