Real is Rare

I was talking with a small group of leaders. The conversation got to a point of talking about intentions versus what's likely and our tendency to not be open about the differences. To not be open about the known barriers. To not be open about our expectations about how managers ought to prevail in the face of these barriers.

Why do we have such a hard time being real when we communicate?

I think this common failing leads to greater victim-itis. Why? When employees hear the corporate line - intentions without the real - they write off the message as unrealistic. If we speak our intentions and then openly discuss what this means and where it will be difficult, we build ownership.

Real -> Ownership

Corporate Line -> Victim

Given this, why is real communication so rare?

Let's take some time to discuss the tasks that don't make sense, address concerns, invite a challenge, and be open about goals that stretch way out there. What are the hassles? What are we doing that we should not be (everyone knows it)?

Don't paint your organizational "turds" pink. Doing so will not make the situation smell any better. It will cause people to disconnect, shrug off accountability, and under perform. Call it like you see it. Encourage others to call it like they see it.

Really.

BTW - On a related but different note, I have noticed that the less cocky I am about my work the better people think it is. It's nutty. I have been embracing my imperfectness and am getting more atta-girls and wows from others. Being real make you seem less flawed in others' eyes. Go figure.

Comments

[Xiaoteng Ma]

I completely agree with this thought. I feel that organizational leaders have an obligation to others to be honest and up front, and as a leader I try my best to be real with others in communication. Great post!

[BBA student]

Real is Rare!!
I agree but it seems the business world not really agrees with you and me.
Just see the Apple case.
SAMSUNG and especially cheap chinese companies are ripping them off.
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http://edu-article.blogspot.com

[Team Building Gold Coast]

The people who love to read new will surely get lot of benefits from this and there is no doubt that the information is world class.

[adr arbitrage]

Hi Lhane, yes you are right. I think this common failing leads to greater victim-itis.

[Mike Phibbs]

The real problem starts with the "ego" of of the supervisors. A study published in the FBI Lae Enforcement Bulletin in December 2011, explained that supervisors were great at pointing fingers as bad performance, but horrible asking subordinates about thier own performance. Therefore, we wonder why our team members withhold information, or don't believe the next big idea. To open up the communicaiton pipeline we have to first ask our teams what we are doing right and where we need to improve. There may not be a "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pride.