I have had some form of ADHD since I was a kid. The tests revealed that I suffer from a bad case of anticipation (that's something they actually measure!). What this means is that I tend to have and practice imaginary conversations in advance of real ones. It's quite twisted.
Yesterday I was having such an imaginary conversation and caught myself "saying" (thinking, really, I don't speak these imaginary conversation aloud), "this is what matters most to me; this is what's most important."
My imaginary conversations include all parts/parties and the person I was pretending to talk with said, "well, I see no evidence of this." In other words, he was calling BS on my proclamation that XYZ was what matters most.
This reminds me of a real conversation I have had many times with leaders who say that poorly performing employees are not meeting their expectations. Almost always I respond, "He/She is meeting your expectations." Expectations are set through act and communication, and you don't get to count your inner thoughts and intentions as expectations if your actions and verbal discussions don't jive with them. When the bad employee has good performance reviews and has not been held accountable for his/her poor performance, I can only conclude that everything is actually tick-a-dee-boo (I belive this is a Canadian term).
In other words, expectations are those standards that we clearly communication and are willing to hold others accountable for. Expectations are out there, not neatly tucked away in our brains.
In other words, what matters most are those things that we clearly communicate and are willing to hold ourselves accountable for acting in congruence with. Priorities are out there, not neatly tucked away in our brains.
In both of these examples, we need to have a moment of truth with ourselves. Does this REALLY matter so much? Only when I act that way can I claim that it does. And if I don't, the next question is - what does matter and am I happy with this?
This is not an epiphany, but it is a reminder. And an opportunity to flash your own BS card before someone else does and makes you feel like a fool/failure/fraud. Or, to use positive psychology and all that glass is half full stuff, we should figure this out so we can unleash a more inspiring and impactful possibility for our lives/work.