So much of our happiness is about how we define things and the meaning we attach to what occurs. For example, imagine your boss forgets to inform you of a decision and this lapse causes you stress and a lot of do-over work. Meaning? He does not care about whether I waste my time. She thinks we are mind readers. He thinks his time is more valuable than ours. There she goes again, leaving her team in the dark.
We are meaning making machines but often the meaning we attribute and assign is either incorrect or does not serve our goals. This is very apparent in how we think about our bosses. Like us, our bosses are highly flawed, highly talented, and likely too busy to read our minds or spend quality time with us. Some will be annoying, unprofessional, unfriendly, etc....Most care deeply even if they do not know how to show it. Most want to be great bosses although many have no idea what this means of looks like in action.
Here is my point. We can only control one person - ourselves. We should be mindful of the meaning we attach to the things that occur to and around us. Want a new reality? What a different kind of experience? Adopt the most positive and engaging meaning possible that will fit each situation. I am not talking about being oblivious to the obvious or being naive.
I have had this conversation with many of my coaching clients and there is almost always a way to adjust meaning so that it serves the situation and their needs better. For example, I once worked for a boss who had a one track mind and saw everything through a vary narrow filter. At first I made him wrong, inept, and undeserving of his role. Then I changed how I saw it. I saw him as having a strong and predictable POV, but someone who did want to do the rights things and help me succeed. Whether he changes or expands his ideas is his challenge, opportunity, and choice - how I interact with him and whether I let his style drive me bananas is mine.